Thursday, April 14, 2011

A Whole Greater Love... Even More than Maternity Pants

Last night was a little bit of a stressful evening. Brian was in the living room working on the floors while I was in the bedroom watching t.v. I have been having leg pains for the past few days, but nothing too out of the ordinary. Then it happened, a sharp shooting pain up my leg. Memories began flooding back to a few years prior. This was a pain I knew all to well... blood clot. My doctor told me there was a chance that I would have blood clots in my pregnancy with my blood clotting order. With that said, you still hope it doesn't happen to you. I waited for a while, trying not to over analyze every little "pregnant" feeling I have. Once I realized it wasn't going away I called for Brian. He called my primary call physcian and I talked to the person on call. He suggested that we go to the ER. That's when it hit me... a whole GREATER love. I held on to my belly and cried. I didn't fear the clot, I've been through that. I feared the health of my baby. It was like a love I didn't even realize I had yet came pouring out. I pulled my self together and we headed off to the ER.

I show up in the ER shaking like a leaf. I'm calling around trying to find a sub for my class the next day because I knew it was going to be a long night. I was fortunate enough to find a good sub very quickly. The shooting pains started to intensify and I then became about 99% that there was a clot in my leg. After talking to the doctor he had someone come in to do a doppler on my leg. He didn't find a clot. At this point, you would think I would be rejoicing, however, I've been through this before. When I first clotted a few years ago, my clot went undetected for a month resulted in the blood clot branching off into my lungs. Can you see my hesitation now? It's one of those things- when you know what it feels like, you can't deny it. I'm sure if you have had contractions before you would definitely know when you got them again. The doctor then came back in and said that clots can go undetected in the first doppler. He suggested that I come back in a few days and get it done again. He also said that it looked like my Lovenox (blood thinner that I take that is safe for the baby) is too small of a dosage for my weight. My guess is they will up my Lovenox dosage and all will go back to normal. We are still waiting on a response from my ob/gyn on what to do with this new information. Through this whole scary experience I realized a whole GREATER love, not just for my baby, but the love that my God has for me. He will protect me and my baby. He designed this and will carry it to completion. "The heart of a man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."

So what have I learned about pregnancy today: that I have a whole greater love for this baby, but that that only puts in perspective the even GREATER love that the LORD has for me!

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